NOTICE: Melaroo is a web marketing company which makes us a business, so some of this blog will have small business-like blurbs that may scare casual readers off. I will do you all the favor of making these blurbs in red, so if marketing talk turns you off, then you can skip it. But if fart jokes and 90s references turn you on, then proceed!
10. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
For those of you not familiar with the Ninja Turtles, though your existence is questioned, allow me to explain. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were four turtles that walked through some “ooze” and mutated into bipedal, toned, humanoid turtles. Their master Splinter, a rat, also mutated and trained them to be ninjas. Thus, they became Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles AdI had a bunch of these toys. But I remember when these specific models came out. A friend from down the street had gotten Donatello (my favorite) the day they came out and he had to show it off. I was pretty upset, and I’ve secretly held onto this grudge for many years. (sigh) It feels good to get that off my chest. I eventually got it that Christmas, though.
Though Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles didn't have professional web design or Houston's top marketing company at their side, they were extremely popular and will forever be burned into my personality.
9. Skip It
I actually wanted this. Not because I thought I would enjoy it, but because they played the commercial about 19 times every 8 minutes on Nickelodeon. I’d be watching Salute Your Shorts one morning, and this annoyingly catchy commercial would come on.
Skip It! AdIs the counter on the ball really the “very best thing of all”, though? Apparently, it was a huge thing, though I’ve never actually seen a functional Skip It in use. Yeah, I didn’t get one for Christmas. Probably because my parents knew I would never use it. It’s also not the manliest use of time, so my dad probably vetoed it. The only memories I have of seeing a Skip It up close is a dried-up, fading pink one that my friend’s little sister had. I think she left it out in the rain or something.
Here's an excellent example of successful marketing. Obviously, I'm a guy. Why would any 10-year-old boy want a Skip It? Is it because of the counter on the ball? No. Is it because of the catchy theme song? (We at Melaroo have been singing it a lot) No. It's because they used strategic marketing techniques such as playing the commercial during hours where millions of kids are watching TV. Come on, it even has its own Wikipedia page. I'm sure if Skip It! we're still around today, they would probably use search engine optimization and social media strategies. Heck, they'd probably modernize their video production. Maybe they'd even hire Houston's best web marketing company, us...Melaroo Web Marketing.
8. SEGA Game Gear
This one really takes me back. I always had a Game Boy, but it was not in color. My best friend, Daniel Goad, got one of these for Christmas one year. I was so jealous. He had the Jurassic Park game on his, which if you know me, you know I am a HUGE Jurassic Park fan. Whenever I would spend the night at their house, I would stay up playing that game and marvel at the dozens of colors splashed across the screen. My hand would also get third-degree burns from the over-heating battery after about 30 minutes of use. I would then go home and play my Game Boy in anger at its lack of color and dinosaurs. I never got a Game Gear for Christmas, either, but I played Daniel’s enough to say it was half mine. He ever let me borrow it one weekend!
SEGA Game Gear AdWho doesn’t remember that “SEGA!” at the end of every SEGA commercial? Seriously, who?! SHOW YOURSELF!
7. Pog Maker
If you grew up in the 90s, and didn’t own a 12 in. plastic tube filled with pogs and a 1 lb. brass slammer, then you’re a liar. You did own those things and you loved it. One fateful day, while watching X-Men or Eek! The Cat or something, I saw this commercial:
Holy crap, I had to have that! And I finally did, on Christmas Day of 1996. I opened that gift that included a brand new slammer and a bigger tube to carry my pogs. I spent the whole day going through my Disney Adventure magazines, cutting out cool pictures and turning them into my very own pogs! The commercial did not lie! I could literally make whatever kind of pog I wanted just as long as the picture fit within the 1.625-inch circle. I could detail my entire story with pogs like the dark day they announced that they were banned from schools and the social and economical impact that had on me, but I won’t overexcite/bore you.
6. Creepy Crawlers
This commercial would always come on around the Skip It commercial. I wanted one of these so I could attempt to gross out my family members. I remember asking for it a couple of Christmases, but I never got it. I’m glad, though, because my friend got one and it was pretty lame. The “crawlers” do not look realistic at all. In fact, they give you all these crazy neon, Lisa Frank-esque colors. Who’s going to believe that a neon pink and orange scorpion has crawled into their bed? Maybe if we had lived by a nuclear power plant or something.
5. Nickelodeon Gak
I got this little stocking stuffer on a lot of Christmases. It had all of the things that little boys love: it smelled bad, it made fart noises, and it was sticky. What more could you want? My brother and I would sit around laughing for half an hour seeing who could make the loudest and most accurate fart sounds. A year or two later after the original Gak came out, they released scented Gak. I got one that smelled like the beach.
TO BE CONTINUED…
